I've thought a lot about it. The only thing that I've most definitely-100%-without-a-doubt decided on is that the hubs and I WILL have 30 minutes to an hour of just us time when Sofia is born (and no extra bodies will be in the room at the time of birth). No family in the room, no one there to take her away from us. Just us. Our bonding time. I didn't really think I would ever be like that. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. The families would be there and then they would come in as soon as she was born. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that the moment after she's born is a moment you can never get back. I want that moment to be between my husband, myself, and our new baby. It's OUR moment, no one elses. Sorry moms, you'll have to deal.
That, though, is not the big issue.
The big issue is what do we do when I go into labor?!? This is the one I can't figure out. Here are my dilemmas...
- MIL is 4 hours away and has already stated that she needs to be called the moment I go into labor so that she can take off.
- My mom has stated to me that she must be notified the moment I go into labor so that she can "be there when it happens." She's only 30 minutes away.
- I know MIL, and probably my mom as well, would be livid if I called one and not the other.
- I know I do not want anyone in the room except DH and required medical personnel as I am giving birth.
- I'm pretty sure that I will feel "guilty" having all those people just sitting in the waiting room waiting on us. Therefore I might feel pressured and give in to letting them in earlier after the baby is born.
3 comments:
Surely, your mother will understand if you call MIL sooner because she has to TRAVEL.
I think your idea of not having anyone there until after the birth is a great idea. This is your time with your husband and new baby!
IMO, I would explain your plans to MIL and Mom now. ie: "I have decided that I don't want anyone except DH in the room while I'm giving birth. I will call you when I go into labor, if you like, but you will just be hanging out in the hospital waiting room." That way there are no surprises on the day of. Also, include it on your birth plan, maybe? And if there is an issue with family members just showing up in your room, someone could politely escort them out?
That's what I would (and probably will) do anyway. (Don't you love how I act like I know what I'm talking about?! hahaha)
Good luck! :)
*I* don't even know what I'm talking about. I've never given birth either. :)
I like the way you worded it though.
I will definitely need to talk to her. She just kind of sprang it on me the other night and it completely caught me off guard. I just didn't think she really had that much interest... I guess I was wrong.
hmmmm.
If i were in your situation, I'd probably tell them in advance that you will not be calling anyone until Sofia has arrived. Explain how special that time with you, hubby, and baby is too precious and that you want to be able have them come to the hospital and immediately scoop her up... and you won't call until you're ready for that time.
This also allows time for *just* your mom to have several hours with baby, then MIL will have her own time too (several hours later).
I don't envy you having to tell mom and mom-in-law - but you've got to do what you think is best for your family. Maybe explain to the moms that you know lots of important/difficult decisions are ahead in regards to what you think is best for your family... and this is the first... and you hope they understand.
whew. that got long. goodluck! let us know what you decide.
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